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Nov 28

He has essentially fallen off the face of the Earth. In some jurisdictions, he can be compelled to take a DNA test. As she gets older...she may create this idealized image of him...but it is important you allow her to figure out what kind of father he is. Some information in it may no longer be current. Are you in a sticky situation? They spend a lot of time with her. Welcome to The Globe and Mail’s comment community. I have no idea where he is at or any number to reach him(not that I would want to). Should I marry him? If he refuses, according to Mr. Shapiro, the courts can draw an “adverse inference” – meaning, basically, he’s avoiding the test because he knows perfectly well he’s the father. I know it may seem difficult, but in most ways, it's better that way. If he does try to deny paternity, well, then, it gets even murkier. So far, my son has not asked me if my husband is his real dad. I am in the same boat with my son....although I have been lucky enough to find and marry a man that claims him and treats him as his own. until taken to court they have just as much rights to the child as you. Anyway, I tell them that their daddy loves them, but he isn't well enough to be a good dad to them. Personally - I would not mention it at all. Please keep your submissions to 150 words and include a daytime contact number so we can follow up with any queries. Due to technical reasons, we have temporarily removed commenting from our articles. It was also quite complex, so I’ll try to break it down as best I can: The courts cannot enforce that the “father” (aka “the inseminator”: I’ve written in this space, and quite recently, how I hate when those two terms are used as synonymous, so I won’t go through all that again) cannot actually be compelled to have a moral, physical, or emotional relationship with the child. What do I even tell her when she asks me about him? Great! Which strikes me as sad, weird and unfair. I, of course, feel horrible about this because I cant imagine anyone treating her this way and it tears me up. He has not seen, or called to see how she is in months. My girls were barely 6 and 3 when my ex-husband and I separated. but the point is that if she grows up this way it won't seem wierd and it will be a long time before she ever thinks anything of it. i dont agree with the one who said to leave the roll to someone who wants to fill it. Having no father is much better then having a bad one that will repeatedly let her down. Please get back with me so that I could be prepared when she is ready to ask me. In this case I spoke to my go-to family lawyer guy, Eric Shapiro. Yes even if the father has nothing to do with the child there whole life, they must sign over there parental rights. At the top of her list was the fact that he's honest, he keeps his word, and he's always there for us. If he never shows up, you can tell her that he didnt want to be a daddy and that you were always there to help her and teach her. My dad has never seen me. I, of course, feel horrible about this because I cant imagine anyone treating her this way and it tears me up. J. I was/am in a similar situation. Your baby girl will be just fine. They're now 8 and 5, and they haven't heard from their dad in about 18 months. I hope that I have helped you. (she has no male figures in her life at all) She is still young (17 months) but she is talking and does understand a lot. Here's an example of what I mean: I'm engaged to a wonderful man who has been in our lives for about 2 years now. At her age she only knows who loves her and makes her feel safe, she doesnt see mommy daddy differences or even recongnize she doesnt have one...not yet anyway. I met a 25-year-old guy about a year ago. no matter what you do or say, you are going to feel like you didn't do the right thing. GOD LUCK!!! its not good for her! There may even come a day when he decides to clear his concience (sp) and want to show up in her life. I know that it is very hard, but if I could go back, I would've let him completely walk away then and not have pushed the issue. I can only answer for the US. Advice for New Stepmom with a 17 Yr Old Stepdaughter That Hates Her. He showed up periodically and then eventually disappeared. but go with your heart. It is very rough on her. He showed up last christmas and I allowed my daughter to decide if she wanted to see him...and she decided not to. She has gotten to the point now of not wanting to talk to him at all. at this age she isn't goig to ask, she has no idea what a dady is or that she doesn't have one, and growing up without one it will take awhile ecspecially in this day and age for her to realize there is a question to ask, i have 3 children of my own and a SD and my oldest is by a different man than my younger two and he lives with his father while my youngest two and my Sd live here and then my SD has a half brother at her mother's home,it's never been questioned, they have never asked why they have different daddy's and they are now 8, 6, 6, 4, they have also never asked why they have so many extra grandparents, my parents and my grandparents are all divorced, so there is a ton of family, we just have different names for everyone. A one-night stand it may have been. if it happens than it does but dont wait for it to happen. We hope to have this fixed soon. You will be in my thoughts. let her now the truth, and answer any questions she has. Just to see what my son remembered, I showed him a picture of his real dad....I asked him who it was....he said grandpa.

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